Divorce rates have skyrocketed over the past ten years or so to be upwards of 50% separation & that's not counting the separation of couples who have been living together either short or long term. A couple may have been married for 5, 10, 20 or more years, & then it's over. Often once the children leave home and a couple finds themselves alone they find they no longer have anything in common. Perhaps the relationship has been rocky, challenging or dysfunctional for years but they stayed together for the children.
One of the most beautiful rituals I have ever witnessed was a completion ritual. The couple had been together for 7 years, and had a beautiful daughter together. In the ritual they acknowledged one another through the 5 elements, Earth, Metal, Fire, Water and Air or Spirit, & they had symbols representing each element & they spoke of how grateful they were for the other using the elements. Some of these were -- Fire: the passion they had had in their relationship. Water: their emotional connection, Earth: the gift of their beautiful daughter. Metal: the gift of individual growth their relationship had provided. And Spirit: their spiritual connection which would continue despite their physical separation as they shared in the growth of their daughter together.
I believe that a completion ritual is an important ritual that provides a way to energetically complete your relationship. You don't just stop loving someone because you no longer desire to live with them. And, sometimes love is just not enough. We need to recognize this more in our culture & accept that it's not a failure to say, "This isn't working, I don't want to do this anymore!" or, "I feel that our contract is finished."
We have a contract to be with someone and typically a past life connection, usually with unfinished 'business.' What draws us together is that we have a mutual agreement to support each other’s growth, although we are initially attracted to the qualities we feel in the other person that are missing in ourselves & we sense this person will complete us. When issues arise, when our mate ‘pushes our buttons,’ if we could see that they are only showing us the areas within us that we haven't finished working on yet, the childhood wounds that are as yet unhealed, there could be less blame & instead gratitude that our beloved is supporting our growth.
When we react to another person because they’ve pushed our buttons, our reaction comes from the fact that a childhood wound has been triggered. Perhaps we believe our parents never listened to us. We felt unseen, unheard, unloved and even abandoned as a child. A seemingly innocent conversation can bring up any one of these experiences from our childhood. Unconsciously we are literally three years of age again, but this time we lash out at our loved one rather than being aware that we’ve re-experienced a childhood wound.
Our relationship is about healing these childhood wounds & once healed our contract is complete. However, most people never heal their wounds. They never realize the gift their mate has been giving them. And rather than healing they simply separate to avoid feeling their pain, only to find the same issues arise in their next relationship, and the next.
With conscious awareness come the ability to take responsibility for our own thoughts, feelings, emotions and reactions or responses. Blame ceases when we accept responsibility for our own issues, our wounds, but few know or understand that their pain and discomfort is caused by their own wounds not because of anything the other person has done, and so blame continues.
When our contract is finished, when we have learned all that we can from each other, it's time to move on. Imagine how much less hatred & anger there would be in the world if we lovingly moved on with compassion, appreciation and gratitude rather than holding onto pain and disappointment.
When I separated from my sons' father I felt hatred towards him until a friend told me, "If you feel hatred, you still love him. You can't have one without the other!" When I was able to acknowledge that was true, that I still loved this man, it helped me to move on. I had to do a completion ritual with him by myself, clearing all our energy connections, but that was enough, & I moved on with Love, never having to repeat those lessons again. But I have done a completion ritual with someone I loved but could not be with and it was beautiful, & it helped us both to feel like the relationship was fully complete so we could move on.
When a couple decide to go their separate ways even though they separate physically they stay connected emotionally, mentally and through their auric field, which means they continue influencing one another for may years after the split. A completion ritual is just that, a ritual or ceremony to complete the relationship so that both people’s energy is restored to wholeness & they can move on with love.